I never thought that my first blog entry in two and a half years would be about someone who had saved me from myself during a time where I had nothing and needed a fresh start. But before I tell you about this person, I should explain.

 At the time when I stumbled upon this person's videos on YouTube, I was homeless, living with family and struggling with a crippling episode of clinical depression. Despite having a family who loved me and didn't want me to end up on the street, I was losing hope and was barely hanging on to whatever strength I had left. I was fighting a losing battle and was ready to give up on everything and leave behind my family and friends. I was ready to say goodbye and let go my rope of life.

Then one day as I was on YouTube, I browsed around looking for videos on the game Outlast in an effort to distract myself from my thoughts of suicide and as I looked, I stumbled upon a playlist of Outlast. Desperate for a distraction, I clicked on it and nearly two hours later, I had a huge smile on my face. My head hurting from laughing so much and tears of laughter running down my face. It was because of this person that I was able to laugh, smile and have fun again after nearly two months of tears, anger and despair. He did it by creating videos that were made with love, care and a ton of effort to make someone, anyone laugh at his antics whether it be just from getting scared the shit out of him while playing a horror game or by doing something hilarious.

 I'm, of course, talking about Mark Fischbach (a.k.a Markiplier on YouTube).

The one video of Mark's that really brought me to tears was his vlog "It Needs to be Said", a video in which he complied all of his vlogs and videos he did with other people and made a clip show while talking about it (it was made just before New Year's Eve 2014, I think). However, what got me so emotional about this video was that Mark wasn't afraid to let his emotions show when talking about people he lost (most specifically the fans who were watching during his channel's early days), thanking those who were still watching his videos and the new fans (like myself and many others) who have subscribed. It was one of the most emotional videos I have ever watched and it was something that will always count as one of my favourites of Mark's because of the love he has for his fans.

I have never met anyone who cares for his fanbase or try to inspire them to make a difference like Mark does. It's obvious that he loves his fans and after everything he has been through in his life, he deserves the success that he has with his YouTube channel and everything else in his life. If I ever get a chance to meet him, I want to thank him for making a difference in my life and giving me another reason to keep on going. If by chance that I do end up being successful in what I want to do, I'll owe it all to him for wanting the best for his fans and for thanking them for giving him a purpose and a reason to keep going forward in life.

Mark deserves the best that life has to offer him and I hope that he does continue to do well whether it be in his YouTube career and/or beyond it. I will always keep watching his videos and wish him the best in everything that life has to throw at him.

Mark, if you're reading this, thank you so much for making my life and the lives of everyone around you full of joy and laughter. I hope that you will continue to do well and that you always remember that no matter what happens, your fans are always behind you. Thank you again and the best of luck in everything you do.

- RaeAngel out